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Netflix and Chill

Firstly I am sorry its been a while since I posted I will attempt to make this a more regular thing from now on. 

I am sure you all know the meaning behind the phrase "Netflix and Chill", However my meaning of this now rather common phrase is very different! When I think of "Netflix and Chill" I think of a big cosy blanket, a packet of painkillers at easy reach, my TENS machine attached and cranked up to the max and a good boxset ready to try and take my mind off of the pain. Now don't get me wrong I also dream of a Tom Hardy dream boat at my side with some Ben and Jerrys asking if I would like him to massage my back and play with my hair till I fall asleep! Unfortunately Tom is rather busy and I haven't found my own version happy to deal with my bad days as well as my good ones. 
Well today was one of these days, I managed to drag myself out of bed early enough to meet up with one of my good friends for a coffee and catch up instead of cancelling yet another invite. I managed to smile and laugh through the pain as we drank our coffees and did some shopping, then I made my farewells and headed straight back home and to bed. I then spent the day led in bed in my favourite pyjamas, dosed up on codeine and wired up to my tens machine. I curled up in my cosy blanket and watched The Crown on Netflix (on a side note a very good series) while I tried to not focus on the stabbing pain in my lower abdomen and back. I managed to eat some toast so the pain killers were not sitting in an empty stomach and after fighting the tiredness for 3 episodes I finally gave in and slept until early evening. 
I work full time so my days off should be a time when I get all the necessities ticked off whilst doing things that help me relax and give me joy. When I have to take one of those two days a week to ensure I have caught up on sleep enough to help ease the pain I am in, it makes fitting in all the other elements to one day seem like a huge mountain I have to climb, leaving me with no energy for the fun things in life. This is why on a day like today when the pain was so bad and the tiredness so strong I still set my alarm super early, dragged my pain riddled and tired body out of bed to go and meet up with my friend. Fought back all the pain, laughed and pretended I was ok. All in the attempt to take back some control over my illness and have a little fun before I gave in to the "Netflix and Chill" that took up the rest of my day off. 
Now don't get me wrong I love my Job, I love that I can still work full time when so many others out there cannot. I also have weeks when I feel much better and I can do so much more without feeling like I am climbing mountains to just get through the days but when I have weeks like these past few have been and when I have days like today, its a harsh fall back down to reality and sometimes it leaves me reeling, angry at my body for making me have to deal with a sickness that sucks away the joy and energy I should have plenty of. 

Keep fighting for those good days!
P.S If your reading Tom my favourite Ben and Jerrys is Caramel Chew Chew ;-)  

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