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When you are caught completely off guard!

Driving home singing along to the radio in the sunshine, enjoying the early finish and the chance to get home and have some fun. Then completely out of the blue, a pain unlike any other shoots right through me. A sharp pain that hits me deep inside. All of a sudden I have tears in my eyes and my legs won't stop shaking. I am less than 2 miles away from my house but I am so worried I won't make it there. I am stuck in traffic which means I have to clutch control when all I want to do is curl up in a ball with a hot water bottle and a ton of codeine in my system. 
So I have a multiple choice option:

1. I pull over and wait for the pain to ease. Better to be safe than sorry.
2. Push through the pain and get home as fast as the traffic will allow me.
3. Pull over and call my Dad to come pick me up while crying down the phone.

Option 3 is a no go as I know he will be out and unable to collect me. So do I pull over and wait for the pain to ease, which based on my history could take some time and without medication it may not go anywhere. The only real option I have is to (WO)man up push through and get home as safely and as quickly as I can, so I can take some strong painkillers and curl up in bed before I pass out.
Thankfully the traffic subsides and I make it home in one piece if not pain free. Now I after some codeine, a cosy blanket and a few episodes of Gossip Girl later. I can finally sit up and type.
This flare up really came out of no where and it reminded me of how cruel this illness can be and how quickly it can take everything you had planned away. No matter how many times I tell myself Im strong, that I can beat this and be the person I want to be. Live the life I want to live, deep down im not so sure thats true....



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