Skip to main content

Stay Strong Beautiful

I finally have my new Mac!!!
I am so happy, you never realise how much you miss something until you don't have it. 
So much of our lives revolve around 24 hour communication with access to this via mobile phones, tablets, computers and the rest. When a part of that chain is missing it feels like our link to the outside world and family has broken. Silly really when we managed so well without it for so many years. 
I am definitely part of the new world generation! I couldn't do what I do every day without it. 

So Today has been a long one. After a day of pain I decided to get an early night with a hot water bottle (yes in this weather!) and some strong codeine to top up my pain meds. Usually this would mean a night of deep unmovable sleep, this time however that wasn't the case. A restless night with an early wake up call meant I wasn't in the best of moods....... I also woke up to the same agonising pain I had fallen asleep with. With that and a full days work under my belt I am about ready for a hot water bottle and bed again!
I wonder some times if all women with Endometriosis and PCOS have the same problems? Do they have the same terrible pain? Do they get the same mentally draining tiredness that they cannot seem to control? Do they feel like they are less of a woman because they can't bring children in to this world? Do they fight to have a successful career that isn't impacted by their disease? and most importantly Do they hide all of this from the people they love too?

*WARNING THIS IS A BIT MUSHY*

I am lucky and have an amazing family who care very much about me. I grew up with loving parents and 4 amazingly caring older brothers who have now married and given me 4 wonderful sisters too. I have a tribe of beautiful nieces and nephews who i love unconditionally and who give me so much happiness I don't think I will ever be able to repay. I really couldn't ask for more love and support than I already get. They are always there when I need to moan, talk or cry. They live with me having to break plans, spend days in bed and know exactly when I need to be left to myself to just get through a day. I am thankful for them every day but sometimes I hide the pain I am in. I hide the depression that comes hand in hand with these illnesses. I hide the anger and frustration I feel at not being able to live the life that I want too. I hide these things because I love them, because I want them to think I am strong, that I am more than just endometriosis. I hide all this because if I didn't I believe I would break! I truly believe I would crack and I would never come back from it.

So how do I deal with this..... I fight every day! I work on making my days better, stronger, happier. I work, I get through my days with a smile and I stay strong not letting the pain and tiredness get to me. I learn to share bit by bit and trust that if I do crack, If i do break my family will be strong enough to pick me up and put me back together.
I am not there, I am a long way off but I work every day to get there.

Stay Strong and Smile.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When you are caught completely off guard!

Driving home singing along to the radio in the sunshine, enjoying the early finish and the chance to get home and have some fun. Then completely out of the blue, a pain unlike any other shoots right through me. A sharp pain that hits me deep inside. All of a sudden I have tears in my eyes and my legs won't stop shaking. I am less than 2 miles away from my house but I am so worried I won't make it there. I am stuck in traffic which means I have to clutch control when all I want to do is curl up in a ball with a hot water bottle and a ton of codeine in my system.  So I have a multiple choice option: 1. I pull over and wait for the pain to ease. Better to be safe than sorry. 2. Push through the pain and get home as fast as the traffic will allow me. 3. Pull over and call my Dad to come pick me up while crying down the phone. Option 3 is a no go as I know he will be out and unable to collect me. So do I pull over and wait for the pain to ease, which based on my histo...
Post a Comment
Read more

What if Wonder Woman had Fibromyalgia?

So I am a huge fan of superheroes. I love all the Marvel and DC shows and films and am loving the new Comic Cool revival that is happening. I was watching Wonder Woman (again) the other night and started to think to myself “What if Wonder Woman suffered from a chronic pain condition like Fibromyalgia?” or “What if Super-girl had Endometriosis?” what then would happen to the worlds they protect? It stands to reason that if these superheroes have heightened strength and powers then if they suffered from a chronic pain condition then the pain and symptoms would be heightened too. Now I know the purists out there will say they are Gods and Aliens and there DNA wouldn’t suffer from a human condition. Well you may be right, however think for a moment that they as a race can suffer from sickness just as we do. Allow yourself to believe that these could be very similar to our illness and conditions we suffer and strive to find cures for. If that were the case then its plausible they could b...
Post a Comment
Read more

Living with an invisible illness.

Living with an Invisible Illness? From the moment I was told by my GP that I may have endometriosis I was straight on the internet and advice forums. One of the most commonly used phrases I found was "living with an invisible illness".  When I first read this I felt like fist bumping the air and shouting YES! at the top of my voice. Suddenly I wasn't just the only one who felt like this. I had always felt like a bit of a whimp for being so rubbish that I couldn't just get on with my life during Painful monthly periods. I saw my friends and family get through it without any trouble or moaning and not having to even take paracetamol. I on the other hand was doubled over in pain, dosed up on codeine with a hot water bottle and bleeding so heavily sometimes that I couldn't move from the toilet. Why was I so different? Then the pain just carried on. It didn't matter where in my cycle I was and it was suddenly all around my abdomen, sharp and stabbing in my ba...
Post a Comment
Read more