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Be Proud, Be Strong and remember its ok to talk. Period.


Its been a busy weekend for me! I was lucky this time and my plans weren't effected by my endo. 
So many times I have made plans weeks in advance and I have had to cancel them because my pain or period has been so bad I couldn't move or didn't have the energy to think about moving or leaving the house. I get so angry with my body when I have to break plans or cancel events I have been waiting months for. As I work a busy 40+ hour week I get very tired and my days off tend to be days of relaxation and recuperation. 
This weekend I spent with friends chilling out on friday evening and going to Cardiff to watch The Stereophonics perform on Saturday. It was an awesome couple of days but I was so tired and drained today I spent most of it in bed asleep. If I hadn't caught up today I would have been useless tomorrow. What would be an average weekend for most people has left me completely shattered and in agony. All day I have been in pain in so many places, sleep and painkillers have been my only salvation. I hurt in my legs, knees, feet, abdomen, lower back and ache pretty much every where else.  I had an amazing time and loved getting out in the sun but when I feel so bad the next day I do tend to ask myself "was it really worth it?"
Living with chronic pain is an emotional rollercoaster. You are constantly questioning your own decisions and making yourself the reason for your pain. This is simply not true. Wanting to be able to spend a weekend with friends and having a late night or two shouldn't be a hard decision to make. It shouldn't make you feel terrible the next day or make you scared that you may have to take time off work because of the backlash of pain. You should have the energy to go round a friends house and watch films until late. You should have the energy to drive 45 mins to see a band and spend the day wandering around the shops and bars. You should have the energy to have a successful career with a 40 hour week. 
The fact that we don't is not down to us. It is not because we are weak or damaged goods. It is not because we are emotionally unstable. It is not because we don't have the strength to over come the pain. It is simply because we use all our energy, strength and emotion fighting an illness so strong many people have lost against it. 
The fact that we continue to fight for a better, happier and enjoyable quality of life means we are STRONGER than your average person. We use our emotions and strength to keep fighting. To know when to rest and save our energy for the bigger fight we see on the horizon. 

Our chronic pain is not what defines us..Its our Emotional Strength that does.

Please don't be ashamed of this illness. Don't feel like you have to hide it. Don't see it as a sign of weakness. Be proud that you are an ENDOSISTER an ENDOSURVIVOR. Talk about it and show the world that Endometriosis is not an unspoken illness but an illness that targets women Strong enough to fight it!

Be Proud Of Your Strength.



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